a lil bit bothered.......

hmmmm, i definitely have something bothering me, and i know exactly what it is, it just sucks that i dont really know how to go about handling the situation, like, at all, i know what people have told me thus far, and i know i should be wary of it for sure, but i dont really know the proper way to go about it either, i guess one big reason is simply that i knew about this for awhile, and yet i still pursued, and pursuing has at least finally gotten somewhere, i am just a bit unsure of really where to go with it all, its a tough one to crack thats for damn sure, i just always really wished that people were not damaged goods or dealing with emotional attachment to a previous person when they see me, i wish they would realize 'hey! its been over a year, maybe i should let go', but no, that hasnt happened, if anything it is almost becoming a cycle, as we inch closer together she has this old shit bubble up in her brain, and while she doesnt exACTly talk to me about it, she kind of does through means she knows will reach me, but those same means are for her and her alone and not for me, so in some ways i cant really comment on it at all, but at the same time it does affect me, and it hurts to tell you the honest truth, and i dont like that, things seemingly are going well, then i read that shit and its just kind of like, ouch, wow, im glad you are still holding a torch for someone who has been out of your life for over a year, i mean fuck man, i know it takes time, but jesus christ, dont let the past ruin your present, the past is gone, and nothing can be done to change the past, so move on, and live your fucking life please, with or without me, i dont really care, but it hurts to hear that, it sucks to have you not be emotionally available, and truth be told, i really dont know how much longer i am gonna hold my current patience level................. eh, women