i dont even know

i guess i have had a rough couple of weeks mentally. i think i feel as though i am coming out of that now. dont really know why. i guess one thing has become clear though. i have some really good friends. my friends all represent something different in my life. i look at none of them as the same, even though sometimes we all hang out together. but they all add something different. when i need them to help me through rough times i know which ones to go to for what. when they need help they all see me and respect me for different reasons. they value my opinions, my input. in different ways i think, but it doesnt mean anything less. i think thats what friends are for, to lean on your shoulder when they need it, but also to provide a shoulder to lean on when you do to. i had a friend and i wrote to him about some frustrations i was having in my life, and he totally picked me up by putting a certain perspective on things, then just a few days later, i feel as though i returned the favor. i have had other friends who have just been having a rough go of things lately, and i have tried to tell them what i think they should hear, whether or not that is what they want to hear, i still feel as though i have helped, i hope i have anyways. i have friends in my life for different reasons, but they are all great reasons, and the sum of their parts keeps me going and moving forward. i had a friend recently tell me how proud he was of me for the way i have handled some trying times, he noted that he would have just lost his cool and gone apeshit, and that he respected me for keeping my cool and dealing with the situation the way i had. it was amazing for me to have a friend tell me he was proud of me. that meant a lot, maybe even more than he knows. but that is life, shit happens, good or bad, and there is nothing one can do to change that in any way shape or form, life moves on, we make decisions, good or bad, that affect our lives, and no matter what the affect, the world does not stop moving, and neither do we, you have to get through it. this is what we call learning how to be strong. no matter what happens, pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going, because nothing is going to change the past, the past is beyond us, it never changes, it is set in stone, the future is not. the past makes us who we are so that we can pursue the future the way we see it best, learn from the past, do not forget it or more especially the lessons it teaches us, but do not dwell on it. be well friends, if you ever need someone, i am here for you, and know if i ever need you i will come calling.