weighted mind

this has been quite a week for good ol benners, thursday was a particularly interesting day, i have had two friends lose loved ones this week, and another friend who was seriously injured in a car accident, along with all of this, i had some own troubles this week at work, which have since been worked out thanks to an above and beyond manager who actually gives a shit about her employees and does everything she can to help them, this is such a valuable thing, my job is not glorious, it is just a job, but i work with some truly great people, people that care about each other, and that is such an important component, especially when it comes from the top down, of course we are one of the most sarcastic shit flinging group ever, but hey, that just makes a dull job fun!!! but as far as my friends are concerned i feel such a compassion towards them, so strongly that it almost brings me for tears, i wish i could do more for them in these times, but all i can do is let them know that i care, it is just hard to show them that i care so much sometimes for people i am close to in times of need that my heart feels like it is almost going to burst out of my chest, i have many flaws in my character and general self, but this is not one of them, i am really concerned for my friend in the hospital, she has suffered a really heinous accident, it is kind of interesting for a time there because our friendship was kind of falling apart, but i think she had some serious thoughts about this after her troubles, simply because i think serious incidents such as hers makes people see how truly fickle certain things in life can be, like the recent squabbles we have had, i have only known her for a short amount of time, but i care about her as much as anyone in my life, i feel so much for her right now, and plan to go visit her soon....... i miss her and glad she is still alive honestly......... life is funny like this sometimes, but it hasnt stopped me either, feeling this way, i had a customer drive up today and she said "why are you so happy?" and i was kind of like, am i? and she said yeah you seem happy, then i told her that two friends had lost loved ones recently and another had been in a serious accident, and the look on her face was pretty classic, but you know what, as much as i feel for my friends right now, i can not and will not let that affect my general mood, even though it does not directly effect me, it does because of my compassion towards others, but these are times that others need to be pillars of strength, these are moments that i shine, so i will let myself shine through and hopefully be a beam of light to people in these times......................