i will say it....

today was a fun but fucked up day, learned some shit that was hard to see, but enjoyed life for what it was, i am makin strides and that is what is important, that is the first step, saw my friend in the hospital, she was fucked up, she will be fucked up for awhile, sunnyside hospital will be in my plans for awhile, because, well, thats what friends do, even if they had there heart broken in small ways today, i dont care, more of it is on me in the first place, and whatever, if that is her choice so be it, i personally wouldnt find balding men who live three hours away attractive but im not her, so whatever, i need to find myself anyways, i will continue to visit her, and it was hard for me, but i will be a good friend, because that is what i am what i always have been to those im close to, and she is in a tough spot, all in all, its not the way i want to see a reconciliation, but its all good, she cares and i care and thats enough for me to step up to the plate, anyways aside from that it was a good day, hung out with some coworkers, saw a funny movie, totally approached a girl that was checkin me out at a bar and got an email addy, these are all big steps for me, living life, this is whatg i really need to do, and i gotta say it was a good day........... i will process it all over a few cups o coffee tomorrow and let all the pain seep out into words in my journal, while attempting to take some of these words and turning them into my passion, life is good, i am good, as velvet underground would say, i am beginnning to see the light...............