crushed and yet not......

cuz i am still strong. i have learned a lot about myself recently, a lot about me that i had never really allowed out of the box, i have always been an anti society guy, but yet i still have let society get a hold of me in a lot of ways, but in some ways i am trying to shed all of this, not all i guess, but find what really makes me tick, what is good for me and what is not. i have gone through a great deal of personal growth and still have a very long way to go, the old adage life is a journey, and yeah it is. read some shit tonight that threw me for a loop, it wasnt surprising, well, maybe parts of it were, just because they were parts i cannot really interpret, and in some ways those parts could either make me feel slightly better, or slightly worse, but in general, even though i knew the things i read without actually having to read them, doesnt mean it doesnt hurt at all. in fact it hurts alot. but part of what i have been figuring out about myself is that i am strong enough to deal with it. life goes on, i cannot change this in any way shape or form, and as such, i will deal with it all as i must, i will not let things that hurt get in the way of who i am or where i am going, because i have learned that i have the strength to deal with a lot, hell, the whole lindsay thing taught me that, but i sunk into a deep dark hole for a long time, and i am no longer going to allow myself to do that. every day is a new day, full of possibilities, full of options, and i will do what i must to make the best of that. i will not let any of this get me down, because it has taught me so much, and while i threw caution to the wind, i still knew that this exact scenario, could, and probably would happen. as such i was somewhat prepared for it, but that does nothing to take the hurt away, cuz that is very real. but it is momentary, pain fades in and out of our lives constantly, and it is merely something to make us stronger and more prepared for future struggles. as one of my favorite authors always used to say, so it goes. and it does, its nice to have some goals and an eye to the future. tomorrow is always a new day.