changes......

yesterday was an interesting day for me, i was at work bored, then a friend texted me sayin that she had the day off blah blah, so i bolted work, we hung out, did awesome things, ran around in the woods, off the beaten path (which was freakin sweet!) we hung out and talked and talked, i dont think i talked as much, cuz i usually dont, went and got ice cream, traipsed around a park, played with some blackberry bushes, you know sweet stuff, then just hung out real late stylie........ it was an awesome day on so many levels, but on other levels a bubble was somewhat burst, not totally, but somewhat, but really this bubble bein burst shit wasnt all bad, it got me thinking about a lot of things, things i havent thought about enough, things i have let slide over the years, it was interesting, i just took a real long look at my life and realized there is so much work i have to do, for myself, by myself, not that i will be by myself, but it just kind of rocked my entire way of thinking while having this conversation, i know what i dont want out of my life, but i also havent really figured out what i do want with my life either, this is why i have been somewhat of a nomad, living from place to place, struggling with so much not really making very good decisions for me or for my life, in a way i just always thought someone else would bail me out, i look back though and realize my skills are limited but they dont have to be, i realized that i struggle with money especially in the sense that i have wasted so much of it, and im kind of sick of it, i have wanted to be in relationships, when really i am not in a position to be, this does not mean i dont want to get laid, cuz, well, i certainly do, i have just been so hung up on various things the past ten years of my life that i havent really just allowed myself to have fun.......... all in all, i am going to go into a period of life where i figure out what i want, i dont want to be attached to anyone, i dont want to be responsible for anyone else or their feelings, i need to take care of myself, and get my own shit straightened out, this is going to take awhile, i need to set some major goals and stick to them, as well as minor and medium sized goals as well, i need to make some changes and get my life to a point that i want it, so that i can decide what will be best for me............ i am impatient by nature, this will be hard, but i know i can do it