it can take awhile.....

as ive mentioned in previous posts, i spend a lot of time alone, i spend a lot of time thinking, more than i think most people understand, i come off as arrogant at times i think because i find some things so simple (and yet simple things i make way difficult, go figure), this is also a reason i get so bored, i need to challenge myself, but whenever i take on a challenge i find my self getting bored once i figure it out, and this never takes too long, i mean this post could be seen as arrogant (oh look at me im SOOO smart blah blah), but really this is stuff that runs through my head, i think when people first meet me and get to know me, they are like, eh, yeah hes cool, whatever, i dont think i make much of a first impression, it is the people who stick around and get to know me who see the real me though, and i dont share much of my actual thoughts with people, when i hang out with folks i have the obligatory, what you doin blah blah sort of convos, but really i just do this because it is the status quo, and many of the thoughts i have running through my head are usually stuff that only makes sense to me because i am the one who thinks about it, i dont think i see the world or think of the world as most people do, and i think my truly great friends see this in me, im not flashy, im not instant gratification, i am an acquired taste, but anyone who has spent a lot of time with me knows, they have seen the quiet intellectualism bust out every now and again, a quiet conversation and i will drop some majorly deep shit on the person and they are kinda like, whoa, i had this guy clocked all wrong, many times in my life people have labeled me as stupid or dumb, i never really cared, i think because i know im not, and if they look at me as such, they are the ones who are idiots and i just didnt really care, my oafish body kind of supported this theory, it is interesting how if you are just a big person (im not fat! just big boned....) people automatically dont think you have a brain, but really it is just that i keep most of my stuff to myself, i share rarely but i think that when i do most people actually see it as kind of a special thing, and it is, i can bullshit with the best of em when i have to, but it is these rare moments that i really crack open my shell that people see my inner nature, i come off as rude, abrasive, arrogant, whatever, but when it boils down to it i have a genuine heart, i care deeply for things, moreso than many people think, and other things that some people might take so serious i take as trivial, because they are, i have an interesting point of view on the bigger picture, but it is often the small things that cause me to be oversensitive and over emotional at times, i come off as average, normal, nothin special, but really what it boils down to is that that is so far from the truth, i am far from flashy, but there is a lot more going on here than meets the eye (cheesy line, i know, but poignant) and i think anyone who REALLY knows me, knows this to be true. i have something special inside of me, i just have never let it come to bear, i dont know if i ever will, with the right person or peoples, sure, from time to time, but for the most part i am introverted, inside myself, inside my head, sometimes i share this, but not very often........